Stubborn Love
by heroesfan1
Summary: She doesn't like loving him. It wasn't exactly a choice. He wasn't looking for this. He likes that he found it, though.


It's been a few months since the accident. Things have gotten better. He's a dad now, he seems happier. He's not together with Rayna, and he seems alright with that. Juliette knows he hasn't really noticed she hasn't been around, but he will. Or, a small part of her hopes he will. She's not like how she was before, and she knows she's come a long way. But even the cold-hearted, juvenile Juliette would have a hard time standing this. Actually, she can't really remember whether she could have stood this or not. All she knows is that she can't now.

She loves him. It took a while to realise but she does. And it hurts. She doesn't want to love him, she doesn't want to feel like she can't live without him there but she does and it's eating her up. And that's part of the reason why she's made sure the tour spans out 15 shows longer than it should. So she doesn't have to come back and see him.

It hurts because... He's in love with Rayna. They've decided not to be together, she knows, too much 'unhealthiness' the last few months as Rayna says, but she's sure it won't be long and she doesn't want to be watching when it happens. It hurts because she's always his second choice. She didn't really care (maybe a little), but it hurts like hell to know that she's always going to be the one he looks at when Rayna's not there. It hurts that he wasn't there for the funeral. It hurts that when he got out of that coma, he didn't even notice that she was there, in the waiting room. He didn't even _look_ at her. And it hurts when every night at the Bluebird, he, Rayna, Maddie and Daphne never see her at the back of the crowd, watching and listening and clapping.

She doesn't know what to do, how to do anything but write. She writes maybe 15 songs, about this, about the whole thing and suddenly she's got a new album. And for once, she's really proud of it. She's in the studio, recording the song about her mom, the one written solely for her when he walks in.

"Hey, sweetheart." She wants to tell him to go away, to not call her sweetheart ever again because it literally hurts when he says that.

She doesn't look up, just pretends she doesn't hear him. She strums on her three month old guitar and glares at him from under her lashes. Not very mature, but well, damn it.

"Heard you're going on tour." She can feel his eyes on her, waiting for her to confirm or deny. She has no idea why he even _cares._ Why should he?

"You heard right." She's not looking at him at all, just focusing on the wall behind her.

Well, he's confused. He wonders if she's mad about the whole memorial thing, or the fact that he didn't show for the funeral or... Something else.

"Whaddya doing?" He asks finally, not sure what else to say.

"Trying to record a song, so if you don't mind.." She stands, and points at the door. "Leave."

It's not so much what she says, as how she says it. She says it with that steel undertone she used for her mom, and he backs up a few steps.

"What did I do now?" He folds his arms and leans against the wall, and inwardly, she sighs. Why does he have to do this now? She doesn't want to do this. Ever.

"I'm not leaving till you tell me." He really digs his heels in, doesn't he?

"Tell you what?" She's back to staring at the wall.

"Why you're acting like I kicked your dog."

She throws her guitar down on the floor and he jumps. "You wanna know why I'm mad? Is that it? You actually care about me now?"

She just looks so angry, and he's wondering if he missed a step. Or several, actually.

"Sweetie, I've always cared about you." He tells her, bewildered. She lets out a long bitter cackle at this. Yes, she actually cackled.

"Right. You cared about me when I need to pick you up from jail, sure. You care about me when I'm sitting at the back of the Bluebird, clapping till my damn fingers are red. You cared about me enough to turn up at my mom's funeral," he tries to interrupt at this point, but she's on a roll and she can't stop, "you cared about me when you woke up in the hospital. I was there for eight days. I postponed my tour!" She spat, and she's so angry, but she's not mad at him, she's mad at herself. She's losing control again.

"And you don't even look at me." She turns away from him, picking up her bag from the ground.

"Where're you going?" His voice is gruffer now, more dismissive.

"Like you give a shit." She's laughing and crying now, spinning out of his reach before he can touch her. He can't touch her. He must never, ever, get close to her again. She runs.

**xxxxxxx**

He's driving. He knows just where she's going. He doesn't exactly understand why she's mad. She's mad that... He doesn't notice she's there? It doesn't make sense. Unless... The thought is so wild and crazy he actually pulls over.

She loves him. That's why she's mad. It makes sense. He's seen her at the Bluebird, watching him. He saw her at the hospital, her hair in a mess and her face pale. He's seen her looking at him and Rayna, and how her face always twists, like someone's stabbed her in the stomach. She loves him. He runs a hand through his hair. Juliette Barnes is in love with him. Well, damn.

He can't exactly say that he feels the same about her. He's a few steps back from where she is. He's at the part of the stairs where he likes her. He cares about her. He thinks she's prettier without the makeup. He was going to ask her to dinner. That's where he is.

It took a while. He had to think about it for a long, hard while. It's not like Rayna, where everything just happens in a blur and they have to pick up the many, many pieces later. The lies and the complications, all that stuff between them... He's not over her, definitely not, but he's ready for something new. Something that never made him feel like a second choice, something, while not always unicorns and butterflies, that makes him feel like he's got someone who understands and someone who'll be there for him and won't play with his brain. Juliette doesn't play games.

Rayna doesn't either but with everything that's happened, he just feels like that relationship is kind of ruined. For him, anyway. And he doesn't need some girl, he doesn't want to use Juliette like that, but he likes _her._ She's one of his best friends, and maybe one day she'll be something more. He doesn't even know if he really wants that, but...

He realises that he's been sitting on the side of the road for almost an hour. He starts up the car again and just drives. He wants to see where this goes.

**xxxxxxxxx**

"I thought you'd be here." His voice makes her jump. She didn't count on this happening. She falls back onto the grass, glaring up at the sky.

"Just go away." She begs. "Please?"

She hears his footsteps and a shadow falls over her. She closes her eyes.

Slowly, a hand brushes down her face, down her cheek and her skin prickles.

"Don't be like that." She opens her eyes and he's smiling down at her. She pulls away from him.

"What do you want from me?" She asks, and honestly, she wasn't expecting his answer.

"I'd like to take you to dinner." He hopes he doesn't sound half as stupid as he thinks he does.

"What?" She turns so fast she almost falls. "Why?" She's giving him a look that says she thinks he's crazy.

"Because I want to." His voice is clear, steady and so is his gaze.

"But why?" She's on her feet now, backing away from him. Not good. Her eyes say it all. She's scared. She's scared she'll get hurt. He stands too.

"I don't know, but these days..." He moves toward her, "it's called a date."

She stops. She just stares at him for a second. Did he just ask her out? Is this a dream? "A date?"

"Yes," he says patiently. "I'm sure you've heard about it before."

In spite of herself, she laughs. "Once or twice, yeah." She smirks at him, and he feels a little better.

"And," she bites her lip, "what would this date lead to?"

Now he's the one who smirks. "Well, it could lead to a very nice conversation..." He takes another step closer to her, until he's about three centimetres away. "Or it could lead to something like this." Slowly, very slowly, he lowers his lips down to hers, giving her plenty of time to protest. She doesn't, though. It's different from before. It feels like it... Means something. And he likes it. Apparently she does too, because her hands have snaked round the back of his neck and she's kissing him back for all she's worth. She's worth quite a lot.

She's all out of breath when she pulls away. "I meant relationship wise, you know?"

"I don't have that answer yet darlin', but I think it's going to be something good." He smiles down at her, trying to catch his breath.

She takes in a deep breath, and he knows all this'll take a while to compute and for her to decide whether all this is worth getting hurt, which he can't promise he's not going to do. He remembers a time when she would push him away, would do anything to keep herself from getting hurt. He holds his breath. He didn't know he wanted this, but its a nice surprise to find out he does.

"Something good, huh?" She finally says, and her eyes meet his.

"Is that a yes?" He teases, hoping for a smile. He gets something better. She pulls him into her, telling him everything with the way her lips move against his. Everything she doesn't want to say with her words.

"No. That was a yes." Her eyes twinkle and shine up at him, and for the first time in twelve, long years, he feels like he's got a shot at happiness again.

* * *

**Okay, yes, I know, I know, this ship is absolutely mad. I can't help it, OKAY, because I really tried, but my mind just wants to break my heart because I KNOW they won't happen. URGH. So, someone, please leave a review. I need someone to cry with. *begs on knees* **


End file.
